“You Are Who You Are When No One Is Looking”

Growing up my dad used to share this phrase with me, our family and sports teams often. He didn’t come up with the phrase (Stephen Fry likely did) but he modeled and lived it.

 It helped shape me - how I thought about preparation, discipline, and identity.

Over time, I’ve realized that the habits you build in the dark often determine how you show up in the light.

I’m far from perfect and mess up all the time… but here’s some basic examples of how I TRY to live it out:

Faith

• Strive to live out Matthew 6:1–4.

• Focus on the unseen disciplines that shape character - to honor Him.

Work

• Prepare for presentations, then practice and practice again.

• Anticipate tough questions before they’re asked… and how you want to respond.

Fitness

• Put in work before the family (and much of the world) wakes up.

• Make the right food decisions when we put the kids to bed. Not always great at this one!

It’s not about image or external validation… it’s about authentic identity.

Not about how you want to be known or seen, but about who you’re actively working to become through your daily, unseen actions.

What habits are you building in the “dark” that prepare you to be your full self in the “light”?